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The Spark: A Mother's Story of Nurturing, Genius, and Autism, by Kristine Barnett
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Kristine Barnett’s son Jacob has an IQ higher than Einstein’s, a photographic memory, and he taught himself calculus in two weeks. At nine he started working on an original theory in astrophysics that experts believe may someday put him in line for a Nobel Prize, and at age twelve he became a paid researcher in quantum physics. But the story of Kristine’s journey with Jake is all the more remarkable because his extraordinary mind was almost lost to autism. At age two, when Jake was diagnosed, Kristine was told he might never be able to tie his own shoes.
The Spark is a remarkable memoir of mother and son. Surrounded by “experts” at home and in special ed who tried to focus on Jake’s most basic skills and curtail his distracting interests—moving shadows on the wall, stars, plaid patterns on sofa fabric—Jake made no progress, withdrew more and more into his own world, and eventually stopped talking completely. Kristine knew in her heart that she had to make a change. Against the advice of her husband, Michael, and the developmental specialists, Kristine followed her instincts, pulled Jake out of special ed, and began preparing him for mainstream kindergarten on her own.
Relying on the insights she developed at the daycare center she runs out of the garage in her home, Kristine resolved to follow Jacob’s “spark”—his passionate interests. Why concentrate on what he couldn’t do? Why not focus on what he could? This basic philosophy, along with her belief in the power of ordinary childhood experiences (softball, picnics, s’mores around the campfire) and the importance of play, helped Kristine overcome huge odds.
The Barnetts were not wealthy people, and in addition to financial hardship, Kristine herself faced serious health issues. But through hard work and determination on behalf of Jake and his two younger brothers, as well as an undying faith in their community, friends, and family, Kristine and Michael prevailed. The results were beyond anything anyone could have imagined.
Dramatic, inspiring, and transformative, The Spark is about the power of love and courage in the face of overwhelming obstacles, and the dazzling possibilities that can occur when we learn how to tap the true potential that lies within every child, and in all of us.
Praise for The Spark
“[An] amazing memoir . . . compulsive reading.”—The Washington Post
“The Spark is about the transformative power of unconditional love. If you have a child who’s ‘different’—and who doesn’t?—you won’t be able to put it down.”—Sylvia Nasar, author of A Beautiful Mind
“Love, illness, faith, tragedy and triumph—it’s all here. . . . Jake Barnett’s story contains wisdom for every parent.”—Newsday
“This eloquent memoir about an extraordinary boy and a resilient and remarkable mother will be of interest to every parent and/or educator hoping to nurture a child’s authentic ‘spark.’”—Publishers Weekly
“Compelling . . . Jake is unusual, but so is his superhuman mom.”—Booklist
“The Spark describes in glowing terms the profound intensity with which a mother can love her child.”—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon and Far from the Tree
“Every parent and teacher should read this fabulous book!”—Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures and co-author of The Autistic Brain
From the Hardcover edition.
- Sales Rank: #187867 in Books
- Published on: 2014-03-25
- Released on: 2014-03-25
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.98" h x .65" w x 5.18" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
From Booklist
In this compelling memoir, the mother of an autistic savant featured in a 60 Minutes segment tells the story of her remarkable son. The book would have benefited from a foreword by a prominent scientist and/or psychiatrist who could establish that this is completely legit. At two, Jake is diagnosed with autism. As a tyke, he memorizes every license plate in the neighborhood and teaches himself Braille. At eight, he starts auditing college courses. At 10, he teaches himself the entire high-school math curriculum in two weeks. At 13, he is a college sophomore at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis. The book contains many interesting nuggets about kids with autism; for example, they dislike bowling alleys (too noisy). The family’s story, which includes Jake’s dad losing his job and his mom suffering from a stroke at age 30, seems destined for a TV or movie screen. Barnett even runs a day-care center, takes in foster kids, and starts a sports program for autistic kids. Jake is unusual, but so is his superhuman mom. --Karen Springen
Review
“[An] amazing memoir . . . compulsive reading.”—The Washington Post
“The Spark is about the transformative power of unconditional love. If you have a child who’s ‘different’—and who doesn’t?—you won’t be able to put it down.”—Sylvia Nasar, author of A Beautiful Mind
“Love, illness, faith, tragedy and triumph—it’s all here. . . . Jake Barnett’s story contains wisdom for every parent.”—Newsday
“This eloquent memoir about an extraordinary boy and a resilient and remarkable mother will be of interest to every parent and/or educator hoping to nurture a child’s authentic ‘spark.’”—Publishers Weekly
“Compelling . . . Jake is unusual, but so is his superhuman mom.”—Booklist
“The Spark describes in glowing terms the profound intensity with which a mother can love her child.”—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon and Far from the Tree
“An invigorating, encouraging read.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Every parent and teacher should read this fabulous book!”—Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures and co-author of The Autistic Brain
From the Hardcover edition.
About the Author
Kristine Barnett lives in Canada with her husband, Michael, and their three boys, Jacob, Wesley, and Ethan. She is a public speaker on alternative education for children with autism.
From the Hardcover edition.
Most helpful customer reviews
281 of 287 people found the following review helpful.
Focus on what your autistic child CAN do -- and be amazed!
By Rabbi Yonassan Gershom
I come to this review with a somewhat different perspective than most, because I, too, am autistic. Not nearly as severely as Jake -- I have high-functioning Asperger's. And my IQ, high as it is, pales in comparison to his genius. Nevertheless, there were many places where I saw myself in his story.
This is not only a wonderful story of a mother's struggle with "experts" on behalf of her gifted autistic son, it is also a general formula for success: When dealing with disabled or developmentally-challenged children, focus on what they CAN do, not the things they can't. Jake Barnett is a genius, but if his mother had accepted the advice of the special ed people, his brilliant mind would have been lost to the world. At age 2, she was told he would never learn to read or even tie his shoes -- in spite of his obsession with alphabet cards. All the tests focused on things he was either unable to do or -- and this later proved to be the case -- too bored to do. While his mind was studying light and shapes and geometric patterns -- things the teachers saw as mere useless distractions -- he had no interest in sitting in a circle with other children or playing with puppets, the usual kinds of expectations for toddlers. And so he was seriously mislabeled as hopeless.
Kristine Barnett refused to accept a "ceiling" for her son and decided to give him all the alphabet cards he wanted, as well as whatever other activities he found interesting, and work with him from there. This was completely against all the professional advice -- even her husband Michael was skeptical at first -- but eventually it worked. As long as Jake could focus on the things he loved -- astronomy, math, history, physics -- he was willing to work on the more mundane socialization skills. As he grew older, he did begin to communicate and socialize with other kids, but he was so far ahead of his age group in academics that by third grade he was dying of boredom and starting to regress back into his own world again. The solution? Get him into a special college program, and eventually into college itself. At age 12, he became a paid researcher in quantum physics -- and solved an open ended problem nobody else had ever solved before.
As I read this story, I could not help comparing it with my own life. I saw some striking parallels, as well as many (sometimes sad) differences. For one thing, I am 65 years old. Back in the 1950s when I was in grade school, autism was not so well understood, and Asperger's wasn't even on the charts. Because I had speech (I was talking at 9 months and could read a newspaper before I got to kindergarten), I was seen as just a bright problem kid who "does not work and play well with others." But the signs were all there. Like Jake, I, too, retreated into myself between age two and three -- so much so, that I do not remember the names of any of my classmates, and only one teacher -- the one who locked me out in the hall when I had a meltdown. By high school I was so bored (and so badly bullied) that I almost flunked out. And again, I can remember none of my teachers or classmates, nor did I bother to go to my graduation ceremony. The only reason I got into college was because of my very high SAT scores. Not until college did I begin to come out of my shell.
I also did not have such a kind, understanding mother as Jake does, either. When Kristine Barnett talks about mothers of autistic children who "no longer even look at their child," she is describing my mother, may she rest in peace. My mother had definite ideas of what she wanted her child to be, and I wasn't it. My early obsession was with insects, which my mother found disgusting and tried to discourage. Nice Jewish boys don't run around with butterfly nets. By the time my sister was born, my mother had already given up on me. She abandoned me emotionally and focused on her "normal" child instead. An all-too-common story. Today I wonder if we ever bonded at all. My father used to call me "oblivious," and accuse me of "not caring about anybody but myself." So I ended up fumbling my way through life. I sometimes wonder what I might have achieved if my family had nurtured my genius more, instead of lamenting that I never went to parties or the prom. (I did eventually find love and marry at age 33. My wife and I are still together.)
I share my story, not to complain or badmouth my family, but to reinforce what Kristine Barnett wrote in her book: "...I believe that autistic kids hear their parents talking about patty-cake or asking for a hug, but they're just not interested in those things. Have you ever been trapped at a party with someone talking about something you don't particularly care about -- sports maybe, or politics or classic cars? Certainly people with autism are in our world. They're just not thinking about the things we want them to think about."
I can totally relate to that. To this day, I hate sports, and can hardly tell one ball from another. Even the adapted sports that the Barnetts came up with for autistic children would bore me to tears. But show me a bug and I can tell you everything you ever wanted to know about it -- and then some. The same is true of Jake's mathematics, which for him are not work, but a form of genuine fun. (How many times have people told me that I "need to learn how to play"? BUT I AM PLAYING! I just don't do it with balls and bats. Academics are FUN to me!)
Jake long ago surpassed his mother's ability to understand his equations but, unlike my mother, she nurtured his genius and, at the same time, continued to be mom and surround him with love. She has what my mother did not: a philosophy that says every child is a unique gift of God and should not be crammed into a prefab mold.
Granted, not every autistic child is a genius, but even low-functioning kids can still grow and learn. In Barnett's book, there is a wonderful story about a girl named Katy (p.148), who is severely autistic and does not speak, but loves to bake and decorate cakes. Under Barnett's guidance, she got so good at it that she eventually found a job as a cake decorator. A job that does not require much social interaction, where she can work alone in the back room to create her masterpieces. Is this not better than wasting time trying to get her to give good eye contact and chat around the water cooler?
So I do hope that a lot of people read Jake's story and take it to heart. This is not to say that we should never seek professional help. But those professionals are not gods, they don't know everything, they make mistakes. And maybe it is time for them to reevaluate their testing methods before we lose any more fine minds that are not willing to respond to patty-cake but who, like Jake, might be working on some revolutionary new idea. After all, if (autistic) Bill Gates had not come up with the idea of a pre-recorded, loadable operating system (instead of programming each computer separately), you might not be reading this review online. Think about that.
75 of 81 people found the following review helpful.
Well deserved
By G. Kellner
I found this woman so annoying at first I didn't think I was going to make it through the whole book. I have two kids on the autism spectrum and my thought was "Look, lady--I don't want to hear all about your genius kid." She didn't win me over until she started talking about her groups she ran for autistic kids, "Little Light." She believes that all autistic kids have gifts, or something they're good at--it's our job to find those things and to nurture them. The reason therapy is often met with stubborness and tantrums is because it focuses on everything autistic kids can't do or are not good at. She put this into practice with ALL the kids who came to her groups, even the lowest functioning ones. She seems to be just a lovely, lovely person--the kind that gives everything away and tries to help out neighbors. Kristine Barnett is a hero for kids struggling with autism. I wish her much success--it's well deserved.
43 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
You don't have to have a Genius in your house to love The Spark!
By L. J. Schrader
The first thing I must say is that I loved the book, but think the title may miss the mark in reaching parents who would adore this story. In particular, those with children who have any sort of special needs, and of course, autistic families would want to know this book is a hopeful story for all of them as well. While the author happens to have a brilliant son, she shares some common denominators with all autistic families and has some wonderful insight as to how to work with these children and help them reach their full potential.
I work in Special Education at a high school with many children of varying degrees on the spectrum, so I was interested to hear another experienced voice that had success, so that we might also be able to apply it to the kids we work with. There were definitely some gems I will share to remind us that there are simple ways each day to bring out the "Spark" in each of the students:
- Treat the children as people, not problems to be fixed or objects of pity.
- Every child has something that engages them and if you find the proper lens to magnify it they will flourish.
- Encourage the passion the child has. This doesn't always take tremendous resources and if you are creative enough, you can give them all they need to succeed.
- Kids do things and play with things differently and no way is "right" except the way that makes them most productive and content.
- A rule-based check on social behavior works (they will learn to differentiate between a "code 2" and a "code 10" response if it is taught and reinforced).
And of course, one of the greatest analogies I have seen yet on the subject:
"Imagine that you live in a treehouse in a beautiful forest, and the only place you feel safe and calm is in that treehouse. But ...[people keep telling you that you must come down with the rest of us]...". Then one day somebody comes into the forest, and she doesn't yell or try to make you change, but instead climbs into your treehouse and shows you that she loves it as much as you do"..."Wouldn't you have a completely different relationship with her than you do with anyone else? And, when she asks you to come down for a few minutes because she has something amazing to show you, wouldn't you be more inclined to check it out?"
"We met children where they were in order to get them where they needed to be."
The entire story of the success of the Barnetts is a very easy, comforting read, inspiring and hopeful and I most definitely recommend it to all parents and educators. The author makes it clear that she does not suggest all children could or would become prodigies, but as she says "If you fuel a child's innate spark it will always point the way to far greater heights than you could ever have imagined." So important to keep in mind.
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