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With or Without You: A Memoir, by Domenica Ruta
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST NONFICTION BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
A haunting, unforgettable mother-daughter story for a new generation—the debut of a blazing new lyrical voice
Look for special features inside. Join the Random House Reader’s Circle for author chats and more.
Domenica Ruta grew up in a working-class, unforgiving town north of Boston, in a trash-filled house on a dead-end road surrounded by a river and a salt marsh. Her mother, Kathi, a notorious local figure, was a drug addict and sometimes dealer whose life swung between welfare and riches, and whose highbrow taste was at odds with her hardscrabble life. And yet she managed, despite the chaos she created, to instill in her daughter a love of stories. Kathi frequently kept Domenica home from school to watch such classics as the Godfather movies and everything by Martin Scorsese and Woody Allen, telling her, “This is more important. I promise. You’ll thank me later.” And despite the fact that there was not a book to be found in her household, Domenica developed a love of reading, which helped her believe that she could transcend this life of undying grudges, self-inflicted misfortune, and the crooked moral code that Kathi and her cohorts lived by.
With or Without You is the story of Domenica Ruta’s unconventional coming of age—a darkly hilarious chronicle of a misfit ’90s youth and the necessary and painful act of breaking away, and of overcoming her own addictions and demons in the process. In a brilliant stylistic feat, Ruta has written a powerful, inspiring, compulsively readable, and finally redemptive story about loving and leaving.
Praise for With or Without You
“A luminous, layered accomplishment.”—The New York Times Book Review
“A singular new coming-of-age memoir traces one girl’s twisting path up from mean streets (and parents) to the reflective life of a writer. . . . The burgeoning canon of literary memoir . . . begets another winner in Domenica Ruta’s searing With or Without You. . . . [A] gloriously gutsy memory-work.”—Elle
“Stunning . . . comes across as a bleaker, funnier, R-rated version of The Glass Castle and marks the arrival of a blazing new voice in literature.”—Entertainment Weekly
“Valiant and heartbreaking.”—Bust
“Powerful . . . Ruta found an unconventional voice, a scary good mixture of erudition and hardened street smarts. Her writing is also, as they say in Danvers, wicked funny—though in her case wicked is more an adjective than an intensifier. . . . [With or Without You] hums with jangled energy and bristles with sharp edges. . . . Ruta writes with unflinching honesty.”—Slate
“Bracingly funny and poignant.”—The Boston Globe
“Exceedingly powerful.”—Booklist
- Sales Rank: #93707 in Books
- Published on: 2014-03-11
- Released on: 2014-03-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .67" w x 5.20" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Amazon.com Review
Q&A with Domenica Ruta
Q. With or Without You has been compared to The Glass Castle and The Liar's Club. What do you feel sets your story apart from other memoirs?
A. I intentionally avoided memoirs as a genre during my drinking years because I didn't want anyone to ruin my pity party or kill my buzz. While writing the first few drafts of my memoir I continued this abstention, but this time to protect myself from being influenced. I didn't know what a memoir was supposed to look like structurally or sound like tonally, and this ignorance felt to me like a precious state, the ideal place to start. After a couple of drafts, when I felt like I knew the basic shape and texture of this thing I was writing and was secure in that at least, I went on a memoir spree with an intentionally innocent curiosity. How does So-and-So do it? It was a great experience. I remember the day I read that Mary Karr's mother had the same gun my mum did, and I was so happy. It felt like an omen, or a blessing from the queen. I think all of the mother-daughter stories, the addiction stories, the traumatic childhood stories, speak for themselves. I consider myself lucky to be another voice in this chorus. What we have in common as memoirists is a subjective observation of a common humanity. It's what everyone has in common, whether they write their life stories or not.
Q. Your book is intensely personal. How did you decide to tell such intimate stories to the world?
A. I tried not to think about that aspect for the first draft. I wrote as if no one in the world would ever read a word of it, and told myself, if the issue of personal revelation becomes relevant, I will be more grateful to have this problem than I will be worried. But this approach is critical to writing anything. There are too many voices telling you that everything is a bad idea from the start. I'd never get anywhere if I considered these things in the beginning stages of development. It's a good thing writing is 90 percent rewriting, because with every new draft, I was growing as a person and a craftsman. I was getting stronger and more confident in my decisions--what to tell, what not to tell.
Q. What do you hope readers will learn or take away with them from your book?
A. The point of almost all memoirs, especially the sub-genre of trauma and recovery, is the simple promise that there is hope. I hope my book expands on this--that like hope, there is also beauty, everywhere and always, as long as you are willing to search for it. Ultimately I want readers to feel they've been given a good story, something worth retelling.
From Booklist
In the tradition of such tragic family memoirs as The Liars’ Club (1995) and Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? (2012), Ruta details her struggle to rise above a childhood with a drug-addicted mother. Unexpectedly, her memories are not about shooting up but rather about the dizzying journey down and up the economic ladder as her mother sporadically succeeded at business but utterly failed at parenting. Ruta juxtaposes the hallmarks of abject poverty with visits to her father’s nearby middle-class suburban life, and the schizophrenic shift brought by her mother’s sudden financial boons that were never enough, however, to mitigate the hoarding, filth, or endless pills that led Ruta down her own journey into addiction. She admits when her memories are fuzzy and is bracingly honest about her own failures and never wavers from the emotional truth of what it was like to build a life in such circumstances. The intensity of the clear-eyed manner in which Ruta conveys her abiding frustration with the parents who failed their child so casually and monumentally is exceedingly powerful stuff. --Colleen Mondor
Review
“A luminous, layered accomplishment.”—The New York Times Book Review
“A singular new coming-of-age memoir traces one girl’s twisting path up from mean streets (and parents) to the reflective life of a writer. . . . The burgeoning canon of literary memoir . . . begets another winner in Domenica Ruta’s searing With or Without You. . . . [A] gloriously gutsy memory-work.”—Elle
“Stunning . . . comes across as a bleaker, funnier, R-rated version of The Glass Castle and marks the arrival of a blazing new voice in literature.”—Entertainment Weekly
“Valiant and heartbreaking.”—Bust
“Powerful . . . Ruta found an unconventional voice, a scary good mixture of erudition and hardened street smarts. Her writing is also, as they say in Danvers, wicked funny—though in her case wicked is more an adjective than an intensifier. . . . [With or Without You] hums with jangled energy and bristles with sharp edges. . . . Ruta writes with unflinching honesty.”—Slate
“Bracingly funny and poignant.”—The Boston Globe
“Exceedingly powerful.”—Booklist
“Domenica Ruta is a real and excellent writer who has language by the throat. She writes with big beauty and drives her story with huge humanism, empathy, and humor.”—Gabrielle Hamilton, author of Blood, Bones & Butter
“Difficult childhoods are plentiful, the talent to transform adversity into art in short supply. Unflinching in its regard, forgiving in its humor, With or Without You is that rare thing, a story you think you know transformed into one you have to read to the end.”—Kathryn Harrison, author of Enchantments
“In the world of memoir, Mary Karr’s and Geoffrey Wolff’s exceptional books burn and brighten, like actual stars among strings of tinsel. With or Without You is like that. I will read whatever Domenica Ruta writes.”—Amy Bloom, author of Where the God of Love Hangs Out
“Freakishly brilliant, brilliantly freakish, this is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. Domenica Ruta has done something every artist with a failed family must do: She has created herself.”—Gary Shteyngart, author of Super Sad True Love Story
From the Hardcover edition.
Most helpful customer reviews
93 of 99 people found the following review helpful.
A Brutal Memoir of Family, Drugs and Alcohol
By Fairbanks Reader - Bonnie Brody
Domenica (Nicki) Ruta has written a brutal memoir of life with her mother, Kathi. Kathi is a drug addict and sometimes dealer who likes to share her drugs with Nicki. They live in a dilapidated house filled with garbage in Danvers, a suburb of Boston. Kathi's life goes up and down mercurially from rags to riches and back again. Despite her lack of education, she is a good businesswoman who can make money easily. She also has her drug business to fall back on.
Despite her own lack of education, she has high goals for Nicki. She wants Nicki to succeed in school and goes all out to see that this happens. She sends Nicki to Parochial school and later to high school in a better district than Danvers. She takes Nicki to visit ten boarding schools on the east coast and Nicki wins a scholarship to Phillips Andover Academy. She later goes on to Oberlin.
Nicki and her mother are like oil and water though they are very enmeshed and Nicki feels like she needs her mother's approval and support. Kathi is either stoned most of the time or coming down. She uses oxycontin, heroin, cocaine and alcohol. Gradually, Nicki gets into drugs herself with alcohol being her drug of choice. For many years she is a hardcore drunk with hangovers every day, blackouts, and shakes in the morning. Despite this, she manages to study at the University of Texas Michener Writing Center on a full scholarship with stipend. She can't maintain relationships with men as her drinking creates scenarios where she cheats and lies.
This is a memoir of climbing out from the depths of despair and pain. It is an elegy to persistence, strength, repetition, and trying over and over again to get it right. There is a section on alcoholism that is one of the most beautiful and poignant that I've ever read. Domenica gets it right and her personal experiences are honestly and brutally revealed.
The book goes back and forth in time and some of the scenes seem awkward, as though they are not in the right place. A bit of editing should help that out. I read the book in two days and the second half riveted me. I congratulate the author for this very personal and poignant story of her life. Thank you Ms. Ruta for this book.
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
My new favorite memoir
By Carla Kaiser
I devour memoirs like it's my job. I love them, even the ones with good stories but bad writing. This one is up there with Jeanette Walls' Glass Castle. The characters are believable, yet they behave in ways that are far outside of standard social norms. If this story had been written by anyone else, it's possible that I might find myself thinking judgmental thoughts about the characters. A mother who allows her child to be molested? Horrible person, right? That's why I think Domenica is an excellent writer. She made me love Kathi from the very beginning, and this is why I read memoirs. So I can understand people better.
Besides all that, this book is funny. One of those stories that makes you stay up late, laughing out loud, and then you're sad when it's over.
45 of 54 people found the following review helpful.
Powerful new voice
By Agnes O'Neil
I've read many memoirs. Among the best - Russell Baker's "Growing Up"; Mary Karr's "The Liar's Club"; Jeannette Walls' "The Glass Castle" -- all with vivid descriptions of people and events that have remained in my memory over many years. Domenica Ruta's "With or Without You" now joins the ranks.
Reading the glowing endorsements from authors whom I respect, I thought they must be hyperbole. But Ruta is the real deal, someone who can tell a story so powerful that you are riveted to the spot, unable to believe such things could happen and moved in myriad ways. She lived a life that defies description with a mother so vivid that you feel her manifest herself from the pages. This is a memoir that is like no other.
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